Free Stuff & the Impact of Doing the Thing You Set Out To Do!

Incidentally, Russ was instrumental in the decision to finally publish the book, because I had cold feet about taking that last step to publish, even after I had been through the process of writing and editing the book (which took 20 years in total, but 3 years in the final run). I was feeling resistant about publishing because the investment with a self publishing company (Paper Raven Publishing) was a big one for me at the time. I just could not make sense of spending that money all in one go for a book that probably would not recoup the costs in sales.

But when Russ coached me through the fear, it was just clear, that this was a big dream and I had to take the step across the finish line to get it out there. Even though it felt risky.

I had wanted to write a book since I was 10 years old. I had never considered myself a good enough writer. Even after being a professional financial journalist for 12 years, being published in newspapers around Australia and in the UK. Nor after completing my Masters of Arts (writing) and getting over 90 percent in my masters thesis.

I clearly remember thinking when I was at university in Perth, Western Australia that to really write, I had to become more worldly in order to have something good to say. It made sense then to travel the world, living in four different continents and seven different cities.

Although I had the first inspiration for this project in 2004, the book was not published until October 2025. It took me three attempts to write the final draft before I was ready to publish this book. I did not know it when the idea first came to me, but in preparation for this to come to the world, I had a lot of work to do on myself, and thousands of private sessions to give to clients from around the globe.

When the idea to write this book first came to me, I was meditating for three weeks in a small hut in the bush in Australia just 3.5 hours from Sydney. The idea was to share with others who had CFS, burnout and now long COVID, about how it is possible to recover using an energetic pathway. Specifically it was about the understanding of subtle bodies, which was so key to my own recovery and fundamental to the work of Samuel Sagan MD.

Sagan, the founder of the Clairvision School of meditation put together a whole body of work about subtle bodies, and a set of techniques that are primarily for someone on an advanced path of spiritual transformation. These methods can also be used to help someone with this category of illnesses. In my experience this is a unique system in the way it teaches people how to genuinely cultivate their own vitality and fortitude in such a way that they can recover fully from CFS, burnout or long COVID. Anyway, you can read a lot more about it in my book here.

Completing such a long-held project was a gargantuan (tremendous sized) experience. I say this tongue in cheek, because although I knew it was big, the feelings that emerged after having completed that challenge were unexpected for me. To complete something that I had previously had a lot of resistance around and placed in the “not for me” basket, was much more deconstructing to my identity than I had anticipated. I could no longer think of myself as that person who could admire others and dream big, unconsciously believing it was “not for me”. And even the well worn internal fight to disprove that belief of “not for me”, no longer had any energy. I was left empty for a few months.

Digesting all of this was part of the reason it took me a while to get back to you all.

The other reason it took me a while to write you all was that one of my dearest loved ones has been in a health crisis of some magnitude and we have been going through this together.

So perhaps the lesson here is that even when you do something gargantuan, life just happens and you have to turn and face what is there.  It reminds me of the Zen saying:

“Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.”

In this case my shift in self perception and the ensuing life circumstances brought me closer to a deeper love than I ever knew possible.

That is 2025 for me so far!